There are many things I own that I cherish. I have my fishing gear, my kyak, my cameras, my three foot Batman and Joker action figures (don’t judge me), and a halfway decent movie collection. These things mean a lot to me, yet they pale in comparison to my most treasured item: my Netflix pants.
Let’s be honest…we all have them, so don’t threaten to take away my man card (again). If women can have yoga pants, then I find it perfectly acceptable for a man to have Netflix pants. Women have different outfits for everything, including ones to seduce us right out of said Netflix pants. Knowing this, I’m cool with having a designated pair of jogging pants assigned for laying on the couch, watching season 11 of “The Trailer Park Boys “.
Jogging pants are Netflix pants? Not necessarily. For me, I prefer jogging pants. Some men might prefer flannel. Some might just stream commando style. No class, those commando types.
There are reasons why my pair of Netflix pants are jogging pants ( not to be confused with sweatpants…this isn’t the ’80’s). The first reason is deep pockets. I can store a lot of snacks in those bad boys. Less trips to the kitchen that way. Hell, I even found some potato chips in those pockets the other day. I now know what it feels like to win the lottery.
The second reason is the drawstring waistband. I can loosen or tighten this fine piece of threads at will. Also, it makes it easier to Al Bundy it. If you don’t understand that reference, you truly are not a man. Every guy does it. It’s just in our genetic makeup.
The third reason is that if I fall asleep watching Breaking Bad for the 20th time, I’m already in my pajamas. These pants are made for everything!
You can tell those who love their Netflix pants. You can spot every morning. You see them at the diner for breakfast, see them at the gas station, see them walking to the end of the driveway to get the morning paper. They are the pants that have crumbs still on them. They can also be spotted by the stains from whatever they were drinking that spilled on them. Spillage occurs when you binge watch….especially “The Walking Dead”, which you know they have already seen over a dozen times.
So don’t be embarrassed. When you are ready to park your ass on the couch for the night, don’t forget to slip into something more comfortable. Please be sure to give them a run through the washer, though. You will know when the time is right when you sit next to your wife and she looks at your favorite pants and wrinkles her nose.
breezyslade 